Sunday, May 15, 2011
Am I pushing it?
Okay..so the company for which I work is very much a boys' club. Out of 14 or 15 fine dining restaurants there is not a single woman GM. The closest I came was when I was acting GM for the year and a half that I filled in for my boss. The day that we were told that my bosses' position had been eliminated and he would be back in the restaurant I was told that I was next. Since then our Vice President (who I really like as a person) has rehired a man who was previously fired and made him a GM, put one GM through anger management and then had three managers request transfers since the counseling, put another GM through rehab and relocated him to another restaurant and now there is another restaurant opening in t. Louis and it is between a brand new manager he just hired and a manager out of another restaurant who has to take a breathalizer every time he needs to start his car because of multiple DUI's. I am angry that he has not even discussed the opportunity with me. I askmyself if I would even be interested and the answer is "no, not in St. Louis". However, a part of me wants to confront him and ask what is going on? I know it is because I just had a baby. He has made comments in the past about how he "knows" I would never want to move my family or that my husband has his job here. I sort of feel like I am entitled to know what is going on. I know they think highly of me because I have been offered other jobs a few times and they have always asked me to stay and given me a raise. I am angry about this situation. What are your thoughts?
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I'm the same way..even though I might not want the position I still want to know that I was considered and that my boss thinks I'm capable or knowledgable to perform the job, but is taking in consideration that I have a family and we are settled here. When you feel like your being overlooked it becomes a problem and a strange feeling and that's why you want answers. I think that you should talk to him and ask him what is going on and to explain their plan of action to you. I don't think you would be out of line. Hope that helps :)
ReplyDeleteWow that sounds really frustrating! It is really saying something that in todays world men still make comments about women with babies possibly not able to handle the job. I know plenty of managers that are mothers. That shouldn't play into his decision. He should be treating you fair-just like the men. I mean, lets be frank, most jobs even though they preach in HR that we are all equal we can do the same job as a man and still get paid less. I am not a feminist by any means, but I think you should stand up for yourself-in a respectful way not on an emotional rollercoaster and ask what is going on and what you need to do to prove that you are a reliable employee who is interested in advancing within this company. Good luck! Let us know how it goes!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Kymmie. I completely agree. I need to say something. I think I will tomorrow. It just makes me more and more angry each day. I agree with Jenna, as well and it makes me laugh to read that you are not a feminist because I ALWAYS say that before I start talking about the company i work for because I feel like I need to explain that I don't feel entitled to anything because I am a woman with a family, but I do feel as though I am equally as deserving as any of the men with as much or less experience who continue to be put in the higher positions as I am being patted on the head and told that I am such a great manager and that I am the "next" one to be promoted. There have been at least 3 men promoted since they told me I will be next. They are currently involved in law suits from several other women, so I do not want them to feel as though I am threatening them. However, then I get angry because it is not my job to worry about the way I come across when I tell the truth. UGhhh
ReplyDeleteI did it! I asked my GM why I wasn't considered for the GM spot in St. Louis. His response was ridiculous. First he asked "did you tell him you were interested?". My response was "Did I tell him? You mean more than the once a year meetings when i ask when I will get my chance? Well no, besides that I did not ask." Then he said "You knkow he probably just assumes you would never want to move your family". I said "You can't say that to me.". It ended with us agreeing that I need to ask the Vice President. So, no surprise. I think I was right. It's because I am a woman with a family.
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